Mother's Day- joy mixed with grief

This weekend highlights the role of mothers in our lives and it seems appropriate to include a mother's perspective of this special celebration. Bonnie Gray's website, The Faith Barista, serves up shots of faith for everyday life and I've included her thoughts on Mother's Day as she experiences both grief and joy.
 And, with a lighter touch, I've concluded with the Skit Guys' take on Mother's Day. Mums.... enjoy your special day!

'As a mother of two preschooler boys, I’m sandwiched in between my experience of motherhood as a child and my own journey as a mother.
When I was pregnant, daydreaming of the life I wanted to build for my new family, I never would’ve guessed that my own growing up years would return to me. What I’ve found are flashbacks to my own childhood.  Memories that I had long forgotten resurface as I step through childhood a second time with my children. I am both little girl and grown up woman, finding my way to nurture and create a new history with my children.

What I didn’t anticipate is that along with the loving a mother naturally desires to grow into, God has taken me through a journey of grieving. Motherhood goes deeper than genes transmitted to one’s offspring. It cracks hard places open, to face ourselves as child and let God love us. Deep where we’ve pushed away our weaknesses to grow up and become adults, lies the heart of a child that Jesus tells us holds a secret — to bring heaven into us on earth.

“Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. … whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” ~ Mark 4:25-29

I used to think that joy meant the absence of grief.  Whenever certain holidays would circle around, I would beat whatever was bothering me into submission.  I spent most of my emotional energy trying to keep the closet of sadness shut. Becoming a mother has disassembled that steel determination.  I can’t explain it, except to conclude my heart can no longer protect itself like a sieve held up to rushing whitewater.  The heart isn’t a piece of machinery we can open one valve and close another.  When we open our hearts to joy, especially children, our defenses are dismantled. Our innocence returns.

I’ve had to grieve what I missed out in the earlier chapters of my story, but I’m also learning there are moments of grieving in the daily giving as a mother too.  There is a lot of letting go in exchange for the joy of letting in.'

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